ADVICE: AUNTIE AGNI

I am a 22-year-old post-graduate student, at the extreme limit of the inferiority complex regarding my looks. I am a mediocre-looking woman but excellent and a topper in my own batch, that I consistently neglect and always underestimate (as one of my best friends said to me). I don’t know what to do?

All my siblings are extremely charming. I am just fed up with my very own thoughts. All my mates and even my family and friends admire physical beauty. I am certain even you have observed how many people around you pay attention to beautiful people. Besides, I regularly read your column and your words indicate a whole great deal if you ask me.

Okay, girl, let me get right to it … beauty is subjective! It truly is. A couple of cultures round the world where being is known as beautiful overweight. Auntie recently saw a short video on social media about Mauritania, in which a girl was being force-fed by her family to fatten her up. Now, while I don’t condone overeating or force-feeding, this is to attract your focus on varying beauty requirements just.

For instance, there’s a Pakistani actor, Sara Ali who Auntie quite finds incredibly, while a lot of individuals fawn over another very good acting professional who Auntie just doesn’t appear to understand what the fuss is about. Just about everyone has grown up with others (people, our culture, the media, companies making fairness lotions) telling us what matters as beautiful.

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Please, recognize that often, they are not our opinions, but the views of others. Gora rang is not beautiful inherently, just as karma rang is not inherently unattractive. This thinking has however become a part of our culture which is time for you to look past it and think about what you actually do find beautiful.

Secondly, yes, people are drawn to people who meet society’s standards of beauty. That’s possible. But exactly what does that mean? This means that a lot of people pay attention to these folks and also connect a lot of unrealistic qualities to them. They believe that such people lead a charmed life automatically; that they wade through their mansions and their lives without a hitch; that they pay their taxes.

Let me break your bubble darling. No one’s life is really as exciting as it appears on Instagram. And no one looks either like their Insta picture. Think about how exactly people post on social media. A filter is utilized by them, they crop out the unpleasant, they paste an enormous smile (even though they are feeling foul), and they click.

And that is exactly what you see. It’s an instant that is created. Doctored. And you assume that life is way better and easier for them. The fact is, every one of us is of interest to some and not-so-attractive to others. You know that old stating ‘Beauty lies in the optical attention of the beholder’?